| Welcome to the Lunchtime Bonus Question.
The rules are simple. Every day at 1030 GMT we give you an answer. You then tell us what the question was.
Marks are deducted for predictability, and a selection of your most wrong questions is published each day until about 1500 GMT when the actual question is revealed.
The second winner of the Lunchtime Achievement Award is Mike Yeaman of Newcastle for his pitifully wrong question on Monday. Barely hiding his joy, on receiving the award he said: “And they said I was a loser!”
FRIDAY
Friday’s answer is “WEARING ONLY SHOES AND HATS”
Entries are now closed. Wrong questions included:
What is acceptable at age two, but more acceptable 20 years later? Jonathan Jarvis, London
What is the most painful way to cook bacon? Alex White, Manchester
Ok Mel from Barnsley, you say that there was ‘a number of reasons why you have a sore leg, rash and a lifetime ban from the golf course’. Just tell me what you had on? Peter Olding, Bournemouth
How do you spot extreme morris dancers? Chris Reilly, Swansea
What was wrong with the dress code for Paris Hilton’s latest internet escapade? David Kerr, Milan
How can the BBC Symphony Orchestra hold the audience’s attention during tonight’s performance of 4′33″ by John Cage? Gordon, Whitley Bay
Starbucks Chairman Howard Schultz on the opening of its first cafe in France: ‘We are coming in here in a very humble way …’ Helen, Cambridge
What is acceptable at age two, but not 20 years later? Eleanor Orr, London
What is newest impotence medicine attire for both churches and mosques? Mike Yeaman, Newcastle upon Tyne
Head footman’s uniform? Ray Gray, London
Brad Pitt and Robbie Williams; mud wrestling. God willing it could still happen ….. Anna
Mummy, why is daddy sleeping on the sofa? Andrew, Loughborough
So how will I recognise you on our blind date? Andy Cottier, London
Ho w are you going to pay homage to the performence of John Cage’s 4′33” at the Barbican tonight? Sean, Leamington Spa
How do fools fall in love? Robin Hughes, Cheadle, UK
How do fools fall in love? Robin Hughes, Cheadle, UK
The actress and bishop you mentioned, what was so special about them? Parminder, Leeds
What was the cause of the great schism that split the national nudist society. Ian Davies, London
What trend caused the end of dress down Fridays? Alan C, Bracknell
How can my team get the most sponsorship money for the London Marathon this year? Janet B, Nottingham
One of the worst ways to find a job? Lyn Hallett, Surrey, UK
What, other than the lack of a torso, distinguishes the Mr Men from regular men? Mark Williamson, Dunfermline
All wrong. The correct question was how were three men who streaked through a Washington State restaurant and then found their car, containing their clothes, had been stolen left standing in the car park?
THURSDAY
Thursday’s answer is “A NUMBER OF REASONS WHICH I AM NOT GOING TO GO INTO”
Entries are now closed. Wrong questions included:
We could go for a few beers and then on for a curry - sounds great to me, but why meet at 8pm under the Houses of Parliament? Guy Fawkes, London
Why an actress and a bishop? Marion, Ipswich, UK
Why don’t I buy double glazing from a cold calling rep, midway through my meal? Calan MacAulay, Glasgow, UK
Why does it always rain on my parade? Eric, Athens, GR
If you are there, God, why do you let wars happen? Helen, Hythe
Why don’t you think my questions are good enough to win the key ring? Janet B, Nottingham
Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near? Jenni S, Aberdeen
But your honour, if I was holding an umbrella in an aquatic car instead of a mobile phone, and my name was Branson, would I still be fined? Derek Worster, Shoreham by Sea
Just give me a straight yes or no; Do you stand by that statement? Neil Aust, Guildford UK
Why so few women judges? Debby Worster, Worthing
Evasive Parenting Guide Hint 85: Mummy, why can’t I fire my poo 38cm like a penguin? Dan, Bristol
We are now minus a webcam, three gas masks, a roll of clingfilm, a large bottle of baby oil and an uncertain number of hamsters. Can you explain what’s going on in the basement? Graham Brown, mostly Oxfordshire
Why do my questions never appear? Olwen Usher, Mobberley, Cheshire
“Mummy, why is Daddy sleeping on the sofa?” Si Griffin, London, UK
Why do I like to keep my opinions to myself? Jon, London
Why can’t anyone tell me which came first, the chicken or the egg? David, London
My muesli contains what? Oh no, sorry! Jayne, Sevenoaks
Why do you build me up (build me up) buttercup, baby, just to let me down, and mess me around? Nick B, Oxford
Stuart, how come your name has appeared in the LBQ when you should be working? Stuart C, Cardiff
Why do I have a sore leg, an embarrassing rash, and a lifetime ban from my local golf course? Mel, Barnsley
Cabinet Ministers’ welcome pack, page 2: When interviewed on the Today programme, there is one response appropriate for every occasion … Suz, Paris
Why why, why, Delilah? Richard R, Leamington Spa
Which standard answer has every parent used at least once? Adya, UK
“God, why hasn’t it happened yet?” Kieran Boyle, Oxford
Mr Rumsfeld, why are “unknown unknowns” unknown ? Daniel Ward, Eastbourne, UK
South West Trains apologise for the cancellation of the 7:59 Hampton Court service this is due to … Andy Donaldson, London
Why did the chicken cross the road? Annie, Scotland
Alternative title to “101 Secret Excuses”? Hilary, Brighton
All wrong. The correct question was what did Prince Edward say to explain why he has never given blood?
WEDNESDAY
Wednesday’s answer is “GOD WILLING IT COULD STILL HAPPEN”
Entries are now closed. Wrong questions included:
Brad Pitt and Robbie Williams mud wrestling: The Movie Ann Cooper, Orpington, UK
Who’s hoping the Four Horses of the Apocalypse will turn up now so that he can get home early for a night in front of the telly? Dave, Aberdeen
What’s the new name for the remake of the TV series Mission Impossible? Norman Dawes, Bury St Edmunds, UK
A train that’s on time, not cancelled or de-railed by leaves? Katrina, Liverpool
The 10 Commandments: aim a bit higher next time? Candace, New Jersey, US
Will Dick Dastardly and Mutley ever catch that pigeon? Jenni S, Aberdeen
What was the dyslexic impotent Crufts Champion thinking when asked to sire a litter? Andrew Francis, Bristol, UK
What is the optimist’s version of Que Sera Sera? Dave Godfrey, Swindon
What needless prayer was on every computer owners’ lips at 23:59 on the 31st Jan 1999? Sara Batts, London, UK
What was the conclusion of the “create a planet and call it earth” committee on the subject of Woman? Derek Worster, Shoreham by Sea
A politician could have a personality? Dave Atkinson, Portsmouth
Comical Ali rates Impotence pill Harriers’ chances in the FA Cup… Geoff Spick, Bournemouth
In the latest adverts to attract young people into the Church of England, what line follows these in the catchy jingle?
“It’s cool, it’s hip and I have to say,
we’ll soon fill the pews, so let us pray.
We won’t sing hymns, we’ll put some rap on… Phil Welch, London
What’s the chance of the person next to you having had some work done? Robin Hughes, Cheadle, UK
How can I persuade you to become an atheist? Patrick Rushton, Sheffield
When asked if his attempts to join al-Jazeera were still on, what was Kilroy’s reply? Nick B, Bristol
I forgot to give my mongrel breakfast and when I went home at lunchtime it was staring at the bowl like a what?… No, wait. Neil Webber, Bristol
We’ll NEVER get this Earth ‘thing’ created inside SIX days, BUT…. Mike, UK
One of the worst ways to find a job? Marion, Ipswich, UK
Will I ever wake up and discover it’s all been a horrible dream? Ali, Huddersfield
Comical Ali, What do you think Saddam’s chances are of winning this years Hide and Seek championship, considering his recent loss of form? Reynel French, Rush Green
United Nations? Sarah, Thetford
So you’re now hoping an inquisitive Martian will stumble across Beagle and press the reset button? David Dee, Maputo Mozambique
Jordan and Nell McAndrew mud wrestling: The Movie Kevin Smith, Eastbourne, UK
What would not be a good advertising jingle for an insurance company? Dave Godfrey, Swindon
What is the new Lotto slogan for their “Day of Rest” draw? Kieran Boyle, Oxford
Even though terrestrial TV stations seem violently opposed to showing Stephen King dramatisations, ___ _______ __ _____ _____ ______. Doug Smith, Bath, UK
Virgin birth? Robin Hughes, Cheadle, UK
So…..the Bishop says to the actress….. Russ Newsome, Leeds
Stop smoking - Method 6? Kip, Norwich, UK
All wrong. The correct question was how did the 87-year-old grandad of the pop-singing Iglesias clan described his chances of fathering a child with new wife Ronna last year - which he has now done?
TUESDAY
Tuesday’s answer is “ONE OF THE WORST WAYS TO FIND A JOB”
Entries are now closed. Wrong questions included:
In my interview at the Palace I thought I’d mention that apart from wanting to be a butler, my real ambition is to write a book - what do you think? Stephen H, Nottingham, UK
Bank-heist-hunt.com Nick Nevin, London, UK
Ahh Findajob, take the country lane next left, then right, then left again, continue down that road, turn left, then right, then left, then right, then left… David, UK
Giving everyone boils to see who doesn’t complain is what? Kip, Norwich, UK
Gurning during interview has to be what? Dot , Isle of Man
50% of respondents indicated that having dinner at Granita was what? Nathan Mansfield, London
Seeing him sitting on an ash heap and covered in boils, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite and Zophar the Naamathite decided that this was ______________. John Whapshott, Guildford
Crash Test Dummy Weekly classifieds: Jon, London
Jobcentres. Discuss. Si Griffin, London, UK
What is running through the streets at noon, wearing nothing but a pair of smart black shoes and a tie, screaming “PICK ME, PICK ME!!!!” John Eddowes, Dundee
Calling a 118 service and asking for Andrew Job Lester Mak, London, UK
‘Hello - my name’s Charles Philip Arthur George Windsor…’ John Whapshott, Guildford
Eeney Meeney Miney Mo? Richard Sockett, Sheffield, England
Any volunteers? Jeff, UK
Seeing yours advertised is what? Gerry T, Faringdon, England
What is looking in the Classifieds section under “Female Judges wanted”? Janet B, Nottingham
Define “too quickly”? Sarah, Maidenhead
BA (Hons) in English? Suz, Paris
Turning up to your interview wearing pink pyjamas and yellow Wellingtons, dancing the fandango and singing La Cucaracha? Suz, Paris
Biting into a sandwich is what? Andy Cottier, London
Putting yourself up for auction on Ebay is… Wendy Jones, Canvey Island
Simply opening up the Old Testament is… Ruth, Cambridge
Writing articles for the Sunday Express while looking for work in television is…? Kev, Shepton Mallet, UK
Trawling through the Grand Metropolitan Sewage Network is what? James Castle, Welwyn Garden City, UK
All wrong. The correct question was how has sending your CV out to prospective employers as spam been described?
MONDAY
Monday’s answer is “INSINCERE, ARROGANT, Impotence org, Impotence and generic drugs
, REMORSELESS, IMPATIENT, ERRATIC, UNRELIABLE, DRAMATIC, UNETHICAL, BULLYING”
Entries are now closed. Wrong answers included:
The wedding’s off, then? Dave Godfrey, Swindon
That was a party political broadcast on behalf of the How to overcome impotence Democrats Stuart Moore, Cambridge
He is the very model of a modern Major-General! Suz, Paris
..and Partners Sam , Stockport
Not that I’m jealous of course, but don’t you think Sara Whitaker is… Ian Watson, Sandy, UK
..but he does make exceedingly good cakes. Rich B, Newport
Gordon, why don’t people, y’know, like me? Edward Green, London
In Disney’s modernised remake of Snow White what were the dwarfs called? Mark, Paignton
What does the new thesaurus list under “politician”? David Gorton, Oldbury, UK
What was written in Anne Robinson’s letter of praise from a fan? Richard Sockett, Sheffield, England
Description of Dotty? (or was it Florence)? Mike, UK
How’s the wife? Stephen B Black, Dover
.. these are a few of my favourite things … Dr Reece Walker, London UK
I don’t know what the question is, but this is a useful vocabulary list for my ‘upwards feedback’ session with my boss - thanks. Catherine O, Maidenhead
But enough about me, tell me about yourself? Parminder, Leeds
But can he win in November? Candace, New Jersey, US
What can you type into Google if you want to obtain the PR Yellow Pages for free? Tim G, London, UK
How to win friends and influence people … no, wait Sara, Limassol
…. seeks similar Caroline, Berks
Move over to the “Dark Side” of the Scrabble Board Luke! Think of the scores you could make! Think of the words! Ben, UK
What is the Alan Clark appreciation society’s motto? Stephen, Glasgow
So, Mr Chairman, what part of your job do you find the most satisfying? Doug Smith, Bath, UK
How do you get ahead in advertising? Andrew Collier, Cambridge
As well as “pedantic”, what words can my ex not spell? Mike Yeaman, Newcastle upon Tyne
All wrong. The correct question was what personality traits are measured by a new guide to psychologically profiling your boss.
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